Tough to handle

1st of awl - somehow I myself have realized that this blog is for you .. i mean too silly to believe it though eh .. M here only for a reason & thats you .. You knw y ? yea yeaa tum to kahoge hi pagal h deemag chatt ti h nd all thoz things - but the truth is - you are d reason behind coz i haven't met someone like you before- someone se mera matlab koi adorable- too frendly typ - handsm- nyc behaving - banda nahi hai .. Like you i  meant that i haven't met kisi se aajtak jo itna jada mufat ho lol .. itna jada k baatei hurts- but as wo kuch hadd tak sahi hoti to accptbl bhi hai - har baat sahi nhi hoti- bt still . . I have always hated d chipku boyz - nd yu r nowhr a chipku charctr - & thats wat binds me wid ur stuffs.. I hear you coz xtra sweet baatein sunne se acha h kadwa sach sun lo .. newys - ab d dscription is going a bit broader .. so let it be ..

Anyways - m here now to tell you that hell yess but its damn tough for me to pretend that "yes everything is ok wid me nd you " when you have all of a sudden stopped talking wid me - when we dnt know what happned .. I mean sab ese gher lete mujhe dekhte hi wid ur name - tat i sty stiff nd mere pass havng no optn but thn to react normally nd reply lyk " say whatevr - i dnt evn care " .. But thats nt true right .. I mean I do care & tats normal too ..

Newys- jaha bhi ho - sty happy .. Sort out ur worries :) Its not important tat we should talk - whats impt is that whereva we sty we should know that yess the other one is having a good life ..

Although you having a good lyf widout me <- ths fact hurts me .. but koi na ;)

Jab tum apne dusre frendz sath happy - then I can try my best too ..

Nytz .. 

To the selfish you..

People are too selfish right - I have faced this by myself many a times- but never believed that just like the so called " least important characters",  friendz - infact the great friends ,might get that selfish too. I always believed that whether its a smile or a drop of tear - you share wid ur buddy & yu are the luckiest person then .

Moving on about a friend - a friend whom I have known just  few months back . Dunno what clicked - how why & when he became that important for me that I started writing blog.. Writing just when he made me cry - writing just coz I cant say it to him, but I want him to know how i felt when he made me cry , how i wanted him hard wid me when I needed a friend to share my tensions - my happiness-my sorrows- but he was no where ..

He always does whatever he thinks is right - ho does whatever he thinks is ok . He accepts that he is rude & not gud at keeping good words wid friends- he says he wont be changing his rudeness for anyone - whoever that might be .. & I always accepted all his harshness his ignorance his rude words. No regrets either - i have accpted his friendship as in his own way ..

But then sometimes I wish - Kabhi to jaanogey tum,  k kitna dukh hota h when yu hurt me like this - unintentional hi sahi . Someday i wish you would know that I needed you by my side in my hard times - but tum nahi they - & i was fucking my time with the strange persons pinging me in whatsapp ..

Jab marji tab you come & make me smile & jab marji akela chor k rula dia ..

Wow..

Just like the biggest idiot i ll still wait for you to come back in my frenz diary ..
I wish kabhi to tumne bhi bata dia hota ur probz which urged yu to stay out of contact ..newys ..

miss yu lodz

Manzile ruswa hain - khoya hai raasta ..
Aaye le jaye - itni si iltaza..
Ye meri zamanat hai - tu meri amanat hai ..

Mujhko irade de- kasme de wade de
meri duao k isharo ko sahare de..
Dil ko thikane de - naye bahane de
khwabo ki barisho ko mausam k paimane de ..

Apne karam ki kar atayein - karde idhar bhi tu nigahe ..
sun raha hai na tu - ro rahi hu mai
sun raha hai na tu - q ro rahi hu mai ..

sun raha hai na tu - ro rahi hu mai
sun raha hai na tu - q ro rahi hu mai ..

waqt bhi thehra - kese q ye hua
kaash tu aise aaye - jaise koi dua ..
Tu rooh ki rahat hai - tu meri ibadat hai ..

Apne karam ki kar atayein - karde idhar bhi tu nigahe ..
sun raha hai na tu - ro rahi hu mai
sun raha hai na tu - q ro rahi hu mai ..

sun raha hai na tu - ro rahi hu mai
sun raha hai na tu - q ro rahi hu mai ..

----

awsm lyrics -_-

For the one reading ..

I think & thats even true also - that I m in my blog writing thing mostly when I m sad or alone or depressed or disturbed .. In other words It mostly shows the darker side of me . Yess thats kind of true .

Logic behind this ? when m happy i luv jumping around & saying the world that yess m happy loads. But when m sad - i cant go up to people & cry saying hey listen m sad- i really cant ! & also i cant keep that upto me - i need to cry then- mostly I do .. But only crying doesn't help - I need someone around to whom I can speak up my heart .. & for me writing is the best option to do - neither you need practically someone nor you cry alone .. :)

People reading this might ask " Why dont you limit yourself to ur diaries then ? " .. To this I would say " kehte hai na technology le dubti h .. kuch aisa hi hai mera bhi .. ghar pe if i have something secret my parents will take that in some other way round - so yaha likha to m quite safe too " ..

Might be m very weak - of course I am - I confined  to myself - my sorrows my tears my pains ..

Thank god m no where stuck in love scenarios - warna frenz ko leke hi itne loche h - pyaar ka to bss..

With the past experience  - I have lost few of my most precious relations in the worst possible way .. & ab itna aur dam hi nahi k aur rishte ( dost ) kho du - so i have a better option - just stay away - away from the ones who matters for you ..

# reason 1 - separation will protect you from fights - no fights no grudges .
# reason 2 - ur daily presence might make ur frend bore- give him a space

ps- but i m afraid out of sight out of mind na ho jae .. lol .. fingers crossed .

# reason 3 - ur frend also might need some other frends in life na ? u r nt the priority always - accept it - & let him / her go :)

newys - thats me - d always crying girl - yeaa lol :P

luv .. 

You should know ..

Crying is the only way your eye speak when your mouth cant explain  how things made your heart BROKEN

.. 

they say my words ..

Lines .. !

Abhi mujh mein kahin
Baaqi thodi si hai zindagi
Jagi dhadkan nayi
Jaana zinda hoon main toh abhi
Kuch aisi lagan iss lamhe mein hai
Ye lamha kahaan tha mera
Ab hai saamne
Issey chhoo loon zaraa
Mar jaaoon ya jee loon zaraa
Khushiyaan choom loon
Yaa ro loo'n :'( zaraa
Mar jaaoon ya jee loon zaraa

Ho o.. abhi mujh mein kahin
Baaqi thodi si hai zindagi

Ho.. dhoop mein jalte huey tann ko, chhaya perh ki mill gayee
Roothe bachche ki hansi jaise, phuslaane se phir khill gayee
Kuchh aisa hi abb mehsoos dil ko ho rahaa hai
Barso'n ke puraane zakhm pe marham laga saa hai
Kuch aisa rahem, iss lamhe mein hai
Ye lamha kahaan tha mera
Ab hai saamne
Issey chhoo loon zara
Mar jaaoon ya jee loon zara
Khushiyaan choom loon
Yaa ro loo'n zaraa
Mar jaaoo'n yaa jee loon zaraa
http://www.lyricsmint.com/2011/12/abhi-mujh-mein-kahin-lyrics-sonu-nigam.html
Dor se tooti patang jaisi, thi ye zindagani meri
Aaj ho kal ho mera naa ho
Har din thi kahani meri
Ik bandhan naya peechhe se abb mujhko bulaaye
Aane waley kal ki kyun fikar mujhko sata jaaye
Ik aisi chubhan iss lamhe me hai
Ye lamha kahaan tha mera aa
Ab hai saamne
Issey chhoo loon zara
Mar jaaoo'n ya jee loon zara
Khushiyaan choom loon
Yaa ro loo'n zaraa
Mar jaaoo'n ya jee loon zara

<3 

missing yu dodo

I know sabuch galat hua .. i know we made a split in the most unwanted way .. i know it was my fault mostly - howevr i was bound to take that step than ..

But just like few other days - aaj teri bohot yaad aa rahi dodo ..

You were always there for me - whether its at mornng 5 or raat k 2 bajey - just a call away .. Kabhi mujhe laga hi nahi k insecurity kya hoti h .. akelapan kabhi nahi feel hua .. i nevr felt tat i need to say yu something - yu understud evrybit of me..

With my evry smile - yu were d 1st one wid whom i shared.. nd wid my every tear - yu stud 1st to fight wid d one responsible ..

But abhi - its awl difftnt .. i have few frenz - grt ones infct .. i share my lyf wid thm .. arora she knows me much well - tere jese .. pankj is a swt hrt .. bt i have one more frend too - unpredictbl h .. i try my best to ignore his rude cmmnts bt janey q wo mujhe effct kr hi jati ..

pehle when i cried dodo - tu humesha sath hota smjhane k liye.. nd ab when i cry to log haste nd kehte " ro rahi hai " .. mai kya karu dodo - i mean tujhe pata hai na - i feel k rona is better thn smiling lyk a stupid all over ..

Abhi i talk wid nly arora to log usmey b ll say smthng so pointlss k ..

howevr hard i try to be me - i fail .

grup chodti hu to frendz cll me bck - grup join krti hu to logo k pointlss majak ..
baat krti hu kisi se to - thy crss their limits - nahi karti to - ro rahi hai .

m stuck ..

neyws .. luv yu & miss yu lodz ..
tk cr